Morning….

 

Good morning and hope this finds everyone well. It’s been a busy summer. I am definitely burning the candle at both ends. I’m not sure why I feel the need to run so hard, but there you are.

The question I ask myself is whether I’m running to, running from, or just enjoying the sensation of running. Perhaps it’s all three.

Last week I vacationed in Yosemite with family. It was our tri-annual reunion. I’m told most families celebrate reunions by gathering for a barbecue or a long weekend. My mother’s family gathers once every three years for a whole week. There are nearly fifty of us now, and most of us attend. We hike, we cook, we swim, we play games and cards and drink in large quantities. We enjoy each other and celebrate each others’ lives. We reconnect in a way that reminds us of who we are and how much we mean to each other.

At the end of the week we whittle down location choices to three or four contenders for our next gathering place, and the business of planning a get together for a group this large begins again.

I haven’t attended in years. My sons’ father was the opposite of my family – a city dweller uncomfortable in the outdoors. We attended one of my reunions when the boys were small. He was a disaster and declared he’d never go again, and to keep the peace, I didn’t either. But now, that time is over and I’m back, rediscovering my tribe, rebuilding my connections.

The story? I am writing, but in a furtive way. I grab moments between the travels and adventures of my life, stealing hours to bring Full Circle to its conclusion. It’s coming…

Chapter 47 – Better Than Dead

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Taking that Breath

Morning and so nice to be back.

That fork in the road has been disruptive, as most forks are. Saying goodbye to things that have outlived their time is not easy. Change never is. As I have made another step toward that person I will become I’ve found some friendships have proven themselves. They have grown with me, willing to bend as I am, myself, bending.

Others have not.

It has been a year of travel and discovery. I am hiking in company, as well as alone. I am seeing beautiful places and finding that this part of my life is another beginning.

One thing I have missed is writing. It is that quiet place where I can allow my feelings to surface in ways it’s not polite to do in company. My characters speak for me, and reflect those I see around me. I don’t have to give them my ‘polite’ face. They can scheme, love, rant ad play to their hearts’ content. And, so they do.

My apologies for wandering so long. I can’t promise I’ll be totally back on schedule, but I am writing. Thank you for your understanding.

Chapter 45 – Goblin’s Dance

Where the Hell Have You Been?

There is no simple answer. Hibernating. There’s a word.

April is never an easy month for me. So many reasons. It’s a rainy month, and the gray of New England’s Great Wet is an every-day thing. The ground wakes up, but at the same time, it grabs hold, layering itself in your boots and painting your pant cuffs. It is the fog and closeness of clouds forcing your thoughts to turn inward.

April is a month of loss, and this year, it hit me hard. It started with giving up my place with the Scout troop. Boy Scouts has occupied a large part of my life this past twenty years, and now I have stepped away from it, knowing I won’t return. I will continue to volunteer in small ways, but I have come to the realization that it’s time for me to find other pursuits.

I find that when that happens; when I reach these forks in the road of my life, I pause to remember and consider. April is the month of my parents’ death. It is the month of my birthday, and this year, as all these anniversaries and changes happened, my feet rooted. I sat down on my metaphorical rock and have been taking time out to consider who I have become and what my next phase should be.

For the first time, I am considering my age and impending retirement. Of course, I’ve laid plans, but for the first time, these plans are on the horizon and not some distant possibility. I am confronting the reality of my body’s slow recovery from exercise and injury. I am coming to terms with my inner programming that insists I need a prince to ride up and rescue me.

So… when will I be done with all of this business? Soon. I am back to re-reading my outline, bringing Full Circle to it’s conclusion. I will get through this weekend, the weekend when my baby graduates college, and I will start moving my feet again, taking the road I have chosen to see what comes next.

What I do know is writing it on that path.

Thanks for bearing with me.

Flower Time!

I hope you have a wonderful time, regardless of the holiday you celebrate. For me, it’s the coming of the leaves that puts a spring in my step. Rains fall. Flowers bloom and all the earth reminds us that in the big flick of things, there is always a new beginning.

My best to you, and special thanks to Ms Buffy. May your cheeks be sore from smiling and your arms ache from returning the many hugs you receive.

Chapter 43 – Stranger Things